


Initiation

by TFWBT



Series: To Establish Ties [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, M/M, Masturbation, Post-Episode: s13e02 The Rising Son, Season/Series 13 Spoilers, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-22 23:58:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12493816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TFWBT/pseuds/TFWBT
Summary: Jack found out what he likes and what he wants. He asks Sam for it.





	Initiation

**Author's Note:**

> This is the second part of the "To Establish Ties" series. Each story in it is written after an episode of season 13 airs.

Since Dean flairs with annoyance when he catches Jack copying him, Jack becomes more cautious about how he does it. As the three of them spend more time together, Jack starts to learn what he shouldn't copy - the parts of Dean Sam hates.

 

“Dude,” Sam says to Dean, “use the sink in your room. If you're gonna use the ones in the showers, then at least clean 'em after.”

 

Dean turns back from the doorway. “That's rich, considering I'm the only one who actually cleans the bathrooms around here. You just push a rag around once in awhile and call it a day.”

 

“Really? You're gonna-”

 

Jack leaves whenever they fight, even though there isn't any real anger in it. It sometimes seems that they pick fights with each other just to talk.

 

Jack also learns the parts of Dean he  _ should _ copy because Sam loves them.

 

“Real food,” says Dean, plopping a burger in front of Sam and casting a disparaging eye towards his salad.

 

“Thanks,” says Sam, happiness rising in him. Sam's not a good cook except for a few dishes. They all prefer Dean to make their meals, although Jack is too scared to ask Dean to cook when Sam's busy. Dean has forbidden him from touching the kitchen after the toaster incident.

 

Jack learns how Sam loves Dean, and wishes he could be loved like that too.

 

“Don't worry, I didn't forget the pie this time.” Sam slides a pie box across the table to Dean before he leaves to put away the rest of the groceries. When he returns, he sees Dean shoveling it into his mouth. Sam makes a face like he's disgusted, but Jack can feel the love and happiness rising up in him. Sam loves taking care of Dean, although Dean only allows it when it comes under the guise of pie.

 

That's the one part of them Jack really doesn't understand. Why they pretend to dislike things they love about each other. When Dean calls Sam a ‘nerd’ after Sam gets excited over an arcane text he digs out of the storage, it's said with a bite, but Jack can feel that he's happy for Sam, and Sam seems to know this, as he ignores the bite completely.

 

Why don't they just say what they mean and mean what they say? It's not just them. The checkout clerk at the supermarket smiles at them and chatters cheerfully, but sadness is pouring off of her so thick and strong Jack can barely stand to be near her. 

 

Even Dean, who pushes most of his dark emotions out, still suppresses them at times. At a diner, he flirts with a waitress, all smiles and joy. Sam rolls his eyes, and pretends to be annoyed by Dean's “cheesy pick up lines”, but it delights him. Jack can tell he thinks Dean's happy. Jack can tell Dean isn't happy, though; he's not even interested in the waitress, he's just pretending to be. Maybe for Sam. Maybe he's trying to convince himself. 

 

Either way, Jack knows he needs to pay more attention to how they feel, rather than what they say. Ever since Sam taught him about masturbation, Jack's known exactly what he wants. He’s followed Sam's advice and looked at a lot of different videos. He's practiced masturbating (or ‘jerking it’ as his favorite video called it) and knows what he likes.

 

When he gets up the courage to bring up the subject again, he knows he needs to pay attention to not only what Sam says, but also what he feels. Jack waits until Dean's locked in his room with alcohol and headphones, and then finds Sam brushing his teeth in his bedroom, the door open. Sam's wearing just a short sleeved t-shirt that shows off his broad shoulders and arms, as well as black pajama pants that cling to his ass. Jack has learned to notice these things and, more importantly, appreciate them.

Jack takes a breath and announces, “I watched a lot of videos and I know what I want now. I want to have oral sex with you. Do you want to have oral sex with me?”

 

Sam startles, his toothbrush hanging out of the corner of his mouth. His reflection looks at Jack in his white T-shirt and jeans, his wide eyes trailing over Jack’s body. There, hidden so deeply that it's almost nonexistent, is Sam's desire. Jack can see Sam's focus deliberately shifting from Jack's body to his eyes, and then the desire vanishes so quick it's as if it never existed.

 

Sam spits out the toothpaste and sets down his toothbrush, each movement slow and deliberate. “It doesn't matter,” Sam finally says, even though it matters a lot to Jack. “You’ve got an adult body already, but you aren't an adult yet.” He looks towards Dean's bedroom, and Jack realises a possible source of Sam's hesitation. 

 

“Dean wouldn't like it, would he?” He doesn't know why he didn't think of it before. Dean hates him. Of course he wouldn't want Jack to experience these things with Sam.

 

“No,” says Sam. He quickly adds, “But he wouldn't be upset with you. He'd kill me.”

 

It surprises Jack because Sam couldn't be more wrong. He reassures him, “Dean could never kill you.”

 

Sam laughs, happiness filling him. “You're a lot like your father.”

 

Jack basks in the glow of it. Although the sadness is always there, lately, the memory of Castiel gives Sam more happiness. Jack can feel Sam's love when he talks about him, and can only imagine how amazing he must've been to earn such warm affection.

 

“You're right,” said Sam. “I didn't mean it literally. Dean would beat the hell out of me. As he should. You're really powerful and you look like an adult, but you aren't capable of giving consent. Not yet anyway.” He walks over and sits down on his bed, reaching for his laptop.

 

Jack sits beside him, and their bare arms brush. It's such a simple touch, but Sam's normally under so many layers, it's the most bare flesh Jack's ever felt. Sam's skin is warm; and the rich, earthy smell of him is overwhelming. All Jack can think about is if Sam tastes like he smells, and how much he wants to experience that, as well as everything else he's seen in the videos. He wants Sam's hands and mouth and body on his; he wants to do the same to Sam. It's almost like hunger; an all-consuming craving. His heart is twisting and wanting, and he already can barely think when he looks in Sam and sees-

 

_ Desire _ .

 

And his own pulses up so thick and strong, it leaves him breathless and dizzy. And Sam's looking at him and he's looking at Sam. And Jack wishes he could read minds so he'd know what Sam wants so he can give it to him. Anything. Everything. 

 

And then Sam lets out a little breath and his desire is gone, stamped out. Sam turns away from Jack and opens his laptop. 

 

“I'll send you some articles,” says Sam.

 

Jack doesn't want articles, he wants Sam, and he's seen enough videos to know how it could be; and how much better it will be when it's real. This close to Sam, it's impossible to think of anything but how much he wants Sam's cock in his hands, in his mouth, until Sam's full of arousal, bleeding it fast and thick and filling Jack up with it. But this is what Sam wants, so instead he says, “Okay.”

 

Sam's typing, but Jack's not paying attention to what he's typing, as all he can think of is those hands running down his chest and curling around his cock. His own cock is growing hard in his jeans, and it's so uncomfortably crammed in his pants, he wants to adjust it, but he knows better than to touch himself in front of Sam. The videos made it clear that this was something private and special.

 

He tries to ask his question again. “If I was capable, would you want to?”

 

Sam's desire flairs, arousal creeping back up, and the feel of it is so intoxicating, Jack can't breathe for a minute, just sinks into it like a warm blanket and lets it flow all over him.

 

“It doesn't matter, because you aren't,” says Sam, and it seems he's saying it to himself as much as to Jack. The desire and arousal vanish.

 

And Jack realizes then that Sam's not going to say yes, even though Jack knows that's what the answer is. Sam can't say yes. Not yet, at least. Jack wants nothing more than to prove he can take or give whatever Sam wants. Whatever Sam needs. He doesn't know how to do that other than take it step by step. Right now, Sam wants him to listen and learn, so that's what he'll do.

 

Sam closes his laptop. “I emailed you some articles that go into more detail about consent and why it's important. Basically, your body is your own, and it isn't right for others with more power or authority to use your body the way they want.”

 

Realization hits Jack hard. “It's because I'm more powerful than you? You think I'm going to use your body the way I want? Like you told me about Gadreel and possession?”

 

Pain flares in Sam and Jack regrets saying anything. Sam's pain turns so sharp and raw, Jack knows he's thinking of Lucifer now. Jack turns away until Sam's crammed it back down. He wants to promise that he's not Lucifer, but can he, when he's Lucifer's son? Maybe he  _ is _ like Lucifer. Maybe he  _ will _ hurt Sam. He tastes bile in his throat.

 

“I'm not scared of you, Jack,” Sam says, but it's not entirely true. Maybe Sam isn't aware that it's not fully true, but Jack can feel the fear and pain, buried deep. “I'm your caregiver. I'm responsible for making sure you’re fed and taught. It's not appropriate for me to do anything sexual with you as long as I'm responsible for your well-being.”

 

“Oh,” says Jack sadly.

 

“It won't always be like this.” Sam squeezes Jack's knee and the touch sends Jack's heart fluttering. “Slow it down. Give it some time. For your-” He makes a face. “I don't want to say homework. For the future, I want you to read those links and also think about this - what exactly do you want from me? Sex? Romance? Both? Do you know the difference?”

 

Jack shakes his head. 

 

Sam says, “Sometimes people seek out sex, when they really just want someone to be close to them. They want to feel loved.”

 

“I want that,” Jack acknowledges, “but I also want to experience oral sex.”

 

Sam flushes at that, desire and arousal rising fast and thick in him again. He shakes his head and pushes it back down. “Yeah, that's pretty normal. I'm uhh… I’m gonna go to bed now. But read those articles, okay? Goodnight.”

 

Disappointed to be kicked out so soon, Jack says, “Goodnight,” and leaves. He heads to the kitchen to get a drink of water. When he returns to his room, he passes by Sam's and stops dead in his tracks. 

 

There, so thick and heavy it's almost suffocating, is Sam's arousal. Jack isn't searching for it, but it's impossible to ignore it pouring out of Sam's room in deep waves. Jack presses his back against the door, letting it wash over him and through him. It's heady and electric and alive and goes straight to Jack's core. Before Jack knows what he's doing, he's freeing his cock and wrapping his hand around it.

 

He can hear Sam breathe, his sharp intakes and slow exhales. He can hear the sound of skin sliding against skin, and he matches Sam's strokes, sliding his hand the way Sam's sliding his. Sam's arousal is in him, and his own rises and melts into it until he can't tell which is Sam's and which is his.

 

There's a part of Jack warning him that Dean could come by at any moment and he wouldn't like this, but Sam's arousal is way too intoxicating to give up. Jack will take pain to feel it, to have it, to be in this moment where Sam's pleasure is all he can think about as he strokes himself. He imagines his hand on Sam's cock, Sam's hand on his, and he wants that so badly, it feels as though his heart will burst.

 

Sam has more experience, more restraint, and even though he's been at it longer and Jack's barely begun, already Jack's close to “coming” as they say in the videos. His testicles are tight against his body; his cock so hard, it's aching; and his body's tight and tense and thrumming with energy, like a spring uncoiled and stretched almost to the point of snapping.

 

He doesn't know how much longer he can take it, but he wants to,  _ needs _ to experience this with Sam. He presses back against the door for support, his breath harsh and his limbs trembling.

 

And then Sam's hand moves faster and Jack can't help but groan; he feels as though he's going to explode with pleasure, it's vibrating so fast and thick throughout his entire body. 

 

One minute Sam's pleasure is as sharp and intense as the tattoo gun, and then it shifts and it's soft and warm and Jack's coming, his hand jerking as semen pulses out of him, thick and white. Jack loses his breath, and his legs get weak, and he collapses on the floor next to the door, as Sam's afterglow flows through him, so warm and fuzzy, and everything he needed.

 

For a moment, they both relax, breathing hard and letting out tension with each exhale. Too soon, the moment passes, Sam's pleasure and arousal can't be found. 

 

Jack tucks himself away and yanks off his shirt to clean his come up off the floor. He heads back to his bedroom to read the links Sam sent. He doesn't care what it takes; he's going to prove himself to Sam. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all liked it. It's a real challenge to write in reaction and not know where the plot is going to take us. I can't wait for episode 3! Hopefully we will get more touching. 
> 
> Your comments and kudos give me life, so let me know what you think!


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